In my profession to never, ever purchase another single solitary pacifier…and because of Jackson’s undying love for them…I have become a bit of a paci nazi. I keep track of them at all times…I know exactly where each one is, they are strategically placed and if one is missing I look endlessly until I find it! Today I reigned victorious! Oh I’ve found them in coat pockets, toy boxes, under beds, even in the refrigerator but today I found one in the oddest place yet…the beater bar of my central vac! It was simply a bit dusty…not the slightest bit damaged…but now that it’s not clogging up my vacuum my floors have got to be cleaner. That thing is getting sterilized and put back to good use baby!
I used this very same logic while I was expecting with Jackson. I was bound and determined not to purchase a single piece of maternity clothing the entire pregnancy. I actually did it! I made it without purchasing one thing relying only on what I already had! I wish I had that logic when it came to shoes! That I never seem to have any whatsoever…until recently! It makes me wonder though…doesn’t this (sniffle…last) baby deserve the same as the first?
I can remember feeling sad one day right before Jack arrived because he wasn’t going to have his own nursery. He was going to have to share a room with Maxwell. I felt like I wasn’t giving him the same warm welcome I had the other 2. He ended up getting several new items just for him which made me feel a little better but with Emalynn there was no expense spared…with Jackson…I’m much more frugal. Why is that?
I think it can be described as the stages of motherhood I’ve gone through. When I was pregnant for Emalynn she wasn’t ever going to consume formula or McDonald’s…EVER (a little bit naive, maybe?)…and only Pampers would do! I got over that really quickly by the way. I had a spreadsheet for everything she ever did! Seriously! Meals, bedtimes, fevers, immunizations, naps, medicines, milestones…you name it, it was listed precisely by date, time and age. I followed that little girl like a hawk when she started toddling. Then we got pregnant with Maxwell and naturally eased up a little bit. When he came along I still sterilized everything that came near to his body and changed his clothes with every tiny spit-up or spill just like with Ema…but I became much more relaxed with things like giving in and realizing nursing wasn’t what was best for him and formula would do just fine.
With Jackson I am a completely different mom. I’m not only going every which way…but I’ve realized a few things…a little dirt doesn’t hurt…he’s only been spoiled with Pampers at Grandma’s…he can wear a shirt that has a small spot of ketchup on it for the rest of the day-from…gasp…McDonald’s…if a paci drops on the floor and gets sucked up in the vacuum if there’s nothing wrong with it but a little dust I don’t have to throw it away! Babies don’t care what kind of stroller they are being pushed in or how many babies before them wore the clothes that are on their backs or if they have to share a room with a sibling. They just want to be held, cared for and loved. And God has shown me that more importantly than I what I do for them on the outside…is what I do for them on the inside. Teaching them about Him every single day is the single most important thing I can do.
I can honestly say I never, ever would’ve kept that dusty pacifier that had been clogged in the vacuum with Emalynn or Maxwell…it would’ve gone straight in the trash. I guess I’ll contribute it to being a little bit more seasoned as a mother…keeping a bit closer eye on the cents and having a little more sensibility. It doesn’t make me love Jackson any less than I love my older 2. It just makes me a little bit more practical…hopefully more patient…even if that makes me a pacifier nazi! Who knows what the next stage will bring!