I’ve always felt there are 2 starts to a “year”. One begins January 1 and the other begins with a new school year. This coming Tuesday we embark on a new season of life…our baby girl is going to 1st grade! She will be with her teacher more than she is with me. A woman I don’t even know! She will get on the bus every morning at 7:40 a.m. and I won’t see her until after 4 p.m. to which we will be rushing to get homework done so we can get off to cheer or soccer or church or wherever else our busy schedule takes us. This having 2 children in 2 different sports at the same time with an 18 month old in tow makes me realize how easy having babies is compared to when they start to grow up.
I recently heard someone say “Don’t call me a stay-at-home-mom…I’m never home!” I’ve felt like that a lot lately. Gearing up for fall has been so incredibly busy. I still feel a great hope however in a new start. A new start to routine (a VERY busy one), a new start to learning and growing and trusting. I keep wondering what God is going to do next. It seems this summer was a bridge I needed to go pass over to get to the next chapter.
Have you ever felt that there was a time…or perhaps many…that you’ve worked so hard to achieve balance…and once you got there it only lasted for a second? The Lord powerfully told me to work on getting healthy physically this summer. He has also moved in my heart and healed many emotional and spiritual wounds deep within even challenging me to get back into music regularly. And now that I feel those resolved I’m struggling physically again…after focusing for so many weeks on being healthy! It’s just not making sense in my futile mind and I can feel the inevitable round of tests, specialists, pokes, prods and uncertainty waiting in the wings. If I can just trust…no matter what the outcome…I will be fine. If I can hold onto what He’s taught me this summer…I will be fine. I will be fine because God is with me.
With a very exciting new bible study and a new sermon series beginning in just a week or so the Lord laid it upon my heart to really be intentional about my quiet time with Him. He told me to get more organized. Now having OCD…I’m pretty organized already but when it comes to prayer I tend to be a little bit sporadic and don’t spend enough time in deep, thoughtful, uninterrupted reverence with the Lord…you know…listening more than I’m talking. I got a little excited by His conviction pulling out multi-colored divider tabs, annoyingly bright post-it notes and clear-view page protectors and turned my bible study binder into a prayer journal. I want everything all in one place. I need to be reminded so often of what God is doing…what He’s done…what He promises. When He answers prayers those annoyingly bright post-it notes with prayer requests are being moved to the “Answered” section. Every day my dividers remind me to pray in the ACTS format (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) with specific sections for God, my husband, our children, our home and business, our family, our friends, our church and pastor, our small group, bible study, acquaintances, those who don’t know the Lord and the list goes on. And as much as it pains me (literally) to write I do it everyday. I write out my prayers intentionally seeking the Lord. Leave it to a total geek to get all excited for the beginning of school with her binder in hand ready to tackle the next project. While I loved school what God teaches is a higher learning I never expected to crave so much.
This very site you are visiting was a challenge the Lord laid upon my heart on January 1 of this year after opening up and telling my story…all of my story for the first time. As I read past posts I am so thankful that I can look at it and be reminded of all God has revealed to me. And as I begin a new chapter of letting go and trusting more than ever I am finally getting everything all together in one place to record what God is doing each and everyday…what He’s telling me…what He’s providing…what He’s answering…how He is always good…how He is always faithful…how He is always true and it will allow me to be reminded. For I all too often forget. Here’s to another new start…
As I read this post I can so relate! May God continue to reign in our lives and draw us closer to him daily! I have felt a special burden to pray for you lately my friend and I wasn’t sure why…..God surely is good!
Thank you so very much for your kind words and prayers! Life is hard…but God is always good! 🙂