Ironies of Motherhood

Since becoming a mother my children have increased wry amusement in epic proportions.  Today my confession as a stay-at-home mom is a list of the ironies of motherhood that have come to humor me on a regular basis.

#12- With toys coming out of our ears…it is always more fun to empty the Tupperware cabinet, unroll the toilet paper or play with an empty box!

#11-  Every time I have a morning I actually get to sleep in I am either awake by 6:30 and simply cannot go back to sleep or a child uncharacteristically wakes me up.

#10- I empty to fill up, and fill up to empty.

Example:  I fill up the baby’s belly just to empty his diaper OR I empty the trash just to fill it with dirty diapers.  I empty the laundry baskets just to fill them with dirty laundry in a never-ending flow.  I fill the empty toilet paper and paper towel rolls just to have them emptied (or unrolled).  You get the idea and probably feel the exact same way I do…the world’s finest filler/emptier!

#9-  I so desperately want to get out of the house without children, yet feel guilty and rushed every single time I do.

It doesn’t help that people always ask me where my children are when I am out and about and they’re not with me…but I try to jam-pack as much as I possibly can into my time without them that I am rushing around town like a mad woman counting the minutes until I need to get back…it’s nuts…and guilt always looms over my head.

#8- It’s a lot of work to go somewhere…but in reality just as much to stay home.

Packing to go, unpacking when I get home and keeping the kids occupied while I do it is a lot of work.  But…when I’m trying to keep them occupied at home and clean up after them while doing it…it’s really a wash.

#7-  You can get up and be completely ready extra early to be somewhere on time and still end up being late.

Expect the unexpected…’nuff said.

#6-  I can make a 5 course gourmet meal but my children would still prefer Kraft macaroni and cheese or a McDonald’s Cheeseburger.  Seriously!

#5-  We can be looking forward to coming home to an empty house when the kids are at Grandpa and Grandma’s all night and by the time we actually arrive home we’re both sad that our little ones aren’t there even if they would just be sleeping anyway.

#4-  I see and talk to my husband everyday…yet I don’t see and talk to my husband everyday.

A common saying amongst family and friends is…”Didn’t Nathan tell you?  Nevermind…he doesn’t tell you anything!”  True, true.  He gets home and it’s all about the kids and after they go to bed we try to make it all about us…and even though we “see” each other everyday quite often we forget to tell each other things…and sometimes we just collapse in exhaustion.

#3-  I could wait 2 weeks to vacuum or wash sheets without incident but the day I decide to do either there will inevitably be a spill or mess or leakage of some sort that will have me doing it twice in the very same day.

#2-  My children would much rather be with their dad than me any day…mom is a constant after all…but it’s always when they cannot come with me that they desperately cry because they want to!  Sometimes I wonder if it’s an act…but most of the time it’s torture for all of us! 

#1-  I love my children with all of my heart…more than I ever thought I could ever love anything or anyone…as if my beating heart has been taken from my chest 3 times and placed in my arms…and that is just a tiny glimpse of God’s love incredible for me!

Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens,
   your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
   your justice like the great deep.
   You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.
How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
   People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
   you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
   in your light we see light.

Psalm 36:5-9

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