I’m throwing that word out of my vocabulary. I don’t ever want to hear it or say it again….yes I feel that strongly. Belief is a very strong thing. If you believe something is “impossible”…isn’t it? I’m not talking about belief in just anything. All too often we give science, doctors, medicine, test results, ourselves WAY too much credit. I’m talking about belief in Someone higher…like the Maker of heaven and earth…the Creator and Sustainer of all life…don’t you think He just might be able to do anything…because I do…I’ve seen it. And while faith isn’t about sight…it certainly doesn’t hurt to see what we feel. Like the wind…we can’t see it…but we see what it does and we can feel it…God is very much the same.
Last night a friend of mine told me about her unborn nephew. The circumstances are very dire. Test results showed that he has a terminal illness and while he is in ueutero he is healthy because his mother is sustaining his life. Once he is born however his life extectancy is very short. I told my friend that I would pray for this precious little one because I’ve seen babies whose test results also looked dire but were born completely and totally healthy through much prayer. She began to tell me all of the seemingly fatal medical tests and findings and while I listened I also said “But God can heal him.” She didn’t seem very receptive undoubtedly because of the pletora of doctors and grief counselors who met with she and her sister telling them what to “expect”, but I am still going to pray for God to heal him….because I know he can. Will He? I don’t know…but I’m going to pray anyway.
If you would’ve asked me 6 years ago if I could survive without anti-depresents, narcotics, muscle relaxers, rigorous exercise and Ambien I would’ve said “Absolutely not”. And on my own, that would have been true but “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” (Phil 4:13). If you would’ve asked me 6 years ago if I could carry, deliver and care for a healthy baby I would’ve said “No way”. “With man this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible” (Matt 19:26). When I turned to Him and begged him to protect my unexpected and “impossible” baby and help me survive without drugs I HAD to believe He would…not that he could…that he would…I had no other choice! The result is 6 years later a healthy 5-year-old girl, another healthy 3-year-old boy, and yet another healthy almost 1-year-old boy…and a life with NO DRUGS since that moment I first begged for his help. Is it easy? No! Could I do it on my own? No! All impossible? NO! Do you know the crap that I put into my body for 8 weeks while preganant with our precious baby girl and didn’t even know it? It is a MIRACLE that she is completely and totally healthy! It is a miracle that when Maxwell’s heartrate crashed during labor he was born completely healthy and it is a miracle that when Jackson’s ambilical cord broke during delivery he remained completely and totally unharmed. That being the very baby I prayed and fasted over for months regarding his mere existence. We often laugh that “God has a sense of humor”…but the reality is God is sovereign and in control…we are not.
When people ask me about my desire for more children they assume that I couldn’t possible want more than 3. My response is almost always “I would love more, but that’s up to God”. Their response is usually either “you’re nuts” or “well, that ship has sailed”. I don’t agree with either. I’m not crazy because I want more children or because I think having them IS POSSIBLE despite a medical procedure that even the doctors who perform them won’t guarantee! And I’m going to stay on the ship owned by the Guy who can walk on water and calm the storms…you know The One who is in the business of doing miracles. He hasn’t steered me wrong yet and He’s given me everything I have…the “impossible”…”against all odds”…”what are the chances”….”immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine”. He CAN give me more children…will He? I don’t know…but I think maybe. Am I crazy? You can think so…go right ahead. But I care about what God thinks and about what God wants.
From where I sit as I look back God has overcome so many things in my life I’ve learned never to sell Him short…and who am I to do so?! I simply cannot let what other people tell me influence what I KNOW to be true….things like God’s Word…things that God has revealed to me so powerfully I can’t even explain it. I’ll never forget a simple Sunday school lesson taught by our youth pastor in high school. He said “When you walked into this room, you had faith that that chair you’re sitting on would hold you up. So, you sat on it. If there was a wobbly old chair with only 3 legs would you have sat on it? Probably not. What your faith is in makes all the difference. Someone can believe in a god that isn’t our God and it won’t do them a lick of good because like a three-legged chair, it won’t hold them up.” If you place your faith in God for anything you’re facing or struggling with I can promise you He CAN make the “impossible” possible. Just knowing that is enough to hold me up!