Day 4- The Hardest Job

It literally means 24/7.  It means being hard and soft.  It means you are perpetually the go-to person.  It means always being on your toes.  It is as they say wonderfully exhausting.  I have to say that this mama thing honestly brings me to my knees at times.  Praying for our children has been our saving grace as parents.  When we cannot physically take another step, we pray.  When we have no idea what to do, we pray.  When we fail…often…we pray.  We continually thank and praise God for His unending grace and faithfulness in raising these little blessings.

This afternoon my son was outside refusing to come in and bawling…loudly.  I am positive the entire neighborhood could hear because he isn’t really quiet about anything.  sulkingThis one wears his heart on his sleeve and heaven forbid things were not going his way.  I should add that he is also my baby, and I have been accused of coddling just him a tad.  This is true.  Nonetheless, when mama placed him in the prayer chair because of his very obvious lack of self-control after he finally came in he was not a happy camper and resulted to sulking.  Then when he had enough, he ever so sweetly came to me with tears in his brightest of blue eyes and said I’m sorry, mama.  And then I (as always) melted.

It’s hard to put my foot down sometimes when I just want to give in.  Sometimes I want to give in to ever so gently place a bandage on his precious little aching heart.  Sometimes…I want to give in to just to put a stop to the blood-curdling screaming.  Sometimes…I honestly want to be the good guy.  Sometimes I give in because I am totally spent physically (and sometimes mentally and/or emotionally) and there is a whole lot of day left to go.  Then sometimes, I look at the fit being thrown and I am able to see….Wow!…this is what look like to my Heavenly Father…complaining about this…rolling my eyes about that…stubbornly arguing or grumbling or…sulking.  And I see the unending patience He has with me and I feel compelled to do the same.  In the constant tug-of-war of mama-hood I find myself looking up…a lot!  And I am a miserable failure and admittedly a push-over…a lot!  You know…you think you know…but until you are faced with it…you have no idea!  And no matter how you think you have prepared…nothing can really completely prepare you for this.

Today I am so thankful for the hardest job I have ever had.  There was a dark time in my life when I really believed I wouldn’t be given this honor…and I was devastated.  In the times when I am brought to my knees…I remember how that desperation and longing felt and I lift my hands in praise and thanks to God who knew my heart and sent me these three precious gifts.  He has shown me immeasurable things through them…like tiny glimpses of how much He loves us…how much my own parents loves me and how BIG and AWESOME He really is!  I could go on and on, friends.  But the Lord has shown me how much I need Him to do the hardest job I have ever and will ever have.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

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