All day I have been feeling thankful for lots of different things. My husband letting me sleep in after not being able to fall asleep until the middle of the night. Waking to one of my little guys crawling in to snuggle with me before school. Praying as a family on the bench in the entryway before Nathan got the big kids on the bus. My sister coming to help me with Jackson and getting me Chinese take-out for lunch and hanging out for the afternoon…in which it took me the entirety to finish my meal…chicken and rice have become my friends…in slow increments. Just after I took my first bite and settled in to watch some chick flicks however there was an unexpected knock at the door. A dear, unknown friend sent me the most beautiful fall bouquet out of the blue with an incredibly encouraging note. Then late this afternoon I received a delicious meal from another friend, and then a card came in the mail completely covered in notes and prayers and scripture from my fellow children’s ministry workers. All of these uplifting things has made today so wonderful amidst this difficult physical burden. I have been trying to wrap my mind around something in terms of gratitude encompassing this day and I felt like God was telling me…wait for it.
One of the things we have been waiting for in this illness is a diagnosis. What is wrong with me? What is causing this pain? The note I received from the anonymous kind soul said the following:
You are one of the most giving people I know; a true joy and light in this world. Thinking of you often and I just know a diagnosis is right around the corner. Love you to the moon and back Darlin!
Now I have a very good idea of who sent this, but I don’t know for sure. I even called the florist to find out but the order was placed online. I want to be able to say THANK YOU! Not only for the gorgeous arrangement…but for the ray of hope I needed. We have been awaiting results from a test and I am just hoping the doctors will call me back today and say they have finally found something. I know that sounds crazy…that I want something to be wrong. It’s clear something is abnormal…so all of the normal results make me want to pull my hair out. In the mean time my Martha instincts start to creep in and it is easy to doubt my worth when I am unable to do almost everything. It was a blessing to hear and be affirmed through this kind soul that my physical restrictions do not change who I am in Christ. I felt God tell my heart in so many ways…wait for it, answers are coming. Trust Me. For this I am grateful…strength and peace for the journey He is leading us on as we wait upon the Everlasting God.