Sour in Candy Land…

The drama.  Oh the drama of having a girl.  How the sweet can so quickly become sour.  I expected it in junior high…but at the age if 7!?  Really!?  The hardest part about it all is that my girl…she just doesn’t get it.  Why would someone…especially a friend…be “mean” to her?  I’ve been hearing that word more and more lately…mean.  I have a feeling it’s just the tip of the ice burg.

Just this past week our daughter has had 2 specific situations where friends who have always LOVED to spend time with her were already playing with another friend and didn’t want to play with her.  It broke her little heart.   After all the philosophy at the Benham abode is the more the merrier.  Can’t we all just get along?  Apparently three really is a crowd sometimes.  The hardest part is that our sweet Emalynn just cannot understand as tears fill her eyes…why?  She would always welcome another friend.  Why won’t they welcome her?  These little girls have always been sweet to her…but I’ve definately seen some sour behavior lately.  I don’t really know why.   Aren’t I as her mother supposed to have all the answers?  Aren’t I the one that is supposed to protect her?  Aren’t I the one that can take the hurt away? 

Someone once explained to me that when we open ourselves up to really loving one another it exposes our hearts to immense joy…but also opens the door for the risk of immense hurt.  The minute I understood that a wall went up.  I made it really hard for people to get truly close to me out of the fear of getting hurt.  This really in the long run only hurt me more though it seemed logical at the time.  Now Emalynn…she wears her heart on her sleeve and simply loves people and expects that people would love her in return.  Though certainly not perfect she is the epitome of classic childlike sweetness, innocence and perhaps she is a bit naive when it comes to drama.  I rather like it that way…but I’m finding it hard to explain it all to her.  She is a little girl who plays baby dolls and dress up and barbies and living in her own little candy land full of sugar and spice and everything nice…she wouldn’t intentionally hurt another…so why would they intentionally hurt her?  Good question!

Why do people hurt others?  Why do they choose to leave one another out?  Why are they “mean”?  They say kids will be kids.   But is it really any different at 7 than 31…or 51 or 77?  The reality is that it doesn’t really matter why others…no matter what their age…act mean at times.  Though sometimes I futilely try to analyze it I cannot answer that question for my daughter or anyone else because only God knows that.  My job…is to simply lead her to Him.  Only He has all the answers.  I cannot protect her from any of this and I have to believe He has a reason for it.  Only He can take the hurt away.  After all…if I could…why would she need Him?

Yesterday we went to Emalynn’s class to meet her teacher for this coming school year and I noticed something.  There were not very many friends from her previous classes on the roster.  What I did notice is that the ones who were listed are 2 little girls that she struggled with being “mean” to her…one from Kindergarten and one from 1st grade.  I got that worrisome feeling in my heart immediately…has God been preparing her for what is to come?  But then I remembered what we told Emalynn when she didn’t get the teacher she wanted and the very reason we don’t request specific teachers for her.  We trust God will put her in the class HE wants her to be in.  Simple as that.  I know He wasn’t sleeping on the job when he put these 2 little “mean” girls in her class right along with her.  I distinctly remember praying with Emalynn when these little girls were repeatedly not nice to her and God.showed.up turing the sour into sweet…growing her faith in Him, teaching her to love others no matter how they treat her, teaching her to trust Him no matter what her circumstances and that if she asks…she will receive.

I don’t want to see my precious baby girl’s eyes full of tears ever again…whether she is 7 or 31…51 or 77.  I want to stand up and demand that everyone be nice to her recognizing how wonderful and special and beautiful God made her.  I want her to be able to stay where everything is filled with sugar and spice and everything nice and not the least bit sour.  I want to be there for her every second.  But I can’t be.  Only God can.  This really is the tip of the ice burg.  Tears are streaming down my face…the reason I’ve been awake since 4 o’clock this morning…I realize she will suffer injustice and cruelty and difficulty for the rest of her life…just as we all have and will and there is nothing I can do about it.  I can’t protect her from it.  It’s simply called sin.  The only answer for that is Jesus and that is why it is so imperative…I must lead her to Him.  I pray God gives me the strength, wisdom and discernment to keep my eyes on Him so I don’t get in His way with my selfish desires to take matters into my own hands…but that I will let go and give her to Him.  She is safer in His hands than in mine.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

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