The month I had dreaded all summer…the one I tried to fend off by holding tightly to August…the one in which I had to let my baby girl go…the one in which I was running here, there and everywhere…it’s over already!? I must admit…it was a blur passing by at light speed. But what God has done in me, shown me…worth every chaotic second. The first day of September I sang the words wake me up when September ends. But…why would I want to miss a thing?
Emalynn loves 1st grade…of course she does! She’s my daughter…my chip! She’s soaring to new heights. Maxwell…he’s the one I can always get a kick out of…I mean really…who doesn’t. And Jackson…his vocabulary is exploding! He repeats absolutely everything…which can be good and bad. My most favorite is when he dropped something off from the changing table and said Aweoh maaan! There isn’t a day that goes by when we don’t look at each other and utter in joyful thankfulness I love these kids so much. Why would I want to miss any of it?
It always seems like at the moment I’m so tempted to give into discontentment God shows me something through these kids. Last week we were walking to Emalynn’s cheer game and there was a HUGE black cloud right over where we were headed. I didn’t say anything but it was coming. Those thoughts…of course it’s going to be cold and rain on me while I’m trying to entertain 2 little boys for an hour…were creeping up. Maxwell looked up at the sky, stopped and screamed MOM! Look! There’s a hole in the clouds! Wouldn’t it be awesome if Jesus came back!? I stopped dead in my tracks not sure if I should cry or jump for joy…inside I did a little bit of both. The Lord spoke so powerfully and reminded me this isn’t my home and He’s coming again. All I could do was respond by shouting Yes it would be awesome if Jesus came back buddy! I’m ready! And boy am I ever ready. God sure brought me to reality through our vivacious and observant 4-year-old. Why would I want to miss that?
Last night after a month of being out and about nearly every day and night of each week I was very honestly thrilled that cheer and soccer were cancelled because of the weather. I was so happy to stay warm and dry in our home as a family with a hot, home-cooked meal…not re-heated or leftover. As we sat down to dinner Nathan said Look at the rainbow! It wasn’t just one! There were 2 of them! I’ve never seen anything like it. Our conversation wasn’t centered around pots of gold…but God’s faithfulness…His promises. God brought our family devotional time to life with the most amazing sight in which every member of our family was in awe. Even Jackson spouted another new word…cooool. After that display…God gets my vote for ArtPrize this year! I was so filled with God’s joy and peace. Thankful doesn’t even begin to express the overwhelming feeling. It was such a gift to end this crazy, chaotic month. And I’m so glad I didn’t miss it!
The older I get the more it seems like time just keeps going faster! The older I get the more God shows me…the more He puts pieces of the puzzle together. Things I thought I knew in my head…but I didn’t yet know in my heart. The more He makes me look at my circumstances…ALL of them…and realize He has a plan and He’s in control of it all. That He’s ALWAYS good and more and more it’s my attitude that needs adjusting. That simply following a list of rules as a pretty little legalist still means you can be a pretty little liar when it comes to matters of the heart…which actually equates to sin. These lessons I could easily miss if I put my blinders on…sleep through life…give into temptation and numbness. But why would I want to miss them like I did for so long?
If I were smart I would’ve realized I never want September to end. I don’t want to say good-bye to this season…new words…new realizations…personalities bursting with life that still need mama every minute. If I were smart I would’ve realized that a mere 5 days after the end of September I would be turning another year older…something I’m trying to learn from it…to embrace instead of dread! If I were smart I would’ve remembered that God always shows up…in the good, the bad, the ugly, and the exhaustingly busy…and everything always turns out the way He intends. I don’t even need to worry. Embarking on another month…another year of my life…I don’t want to miss a thing!