I opened my devotional today really hoping that God would make sense of how I am feeling right now. Yesterday we experienced a very powerful sermon about the fruit in our lives...and not the fruit we think we have…the fruit that God grows through the True Vine…Jesus. I’ve been going over it in my mind ever since and then this morning I found out something that stopped me in my tracks. My most favorite client from J.Crew passed away this past weekend. I was so overcome with sadness and just prayed that God would show me, just tell me what I need to hear right now.
In my devotional this morning by Beth Moore it read this:
Wisdom is the focus of the perceptive, but a fool’s eyes roam to the ends of the earth. Proverbs 17:24
I have discovered that if Satan can’t get to me with destruction, he will try distraction. Each of us could name a dozen different things we’d really like to do with our lives…sometimes all in the same day.
We have only one turn on this green earth. We will never get to do this again. We cannot do a hundred things to the glory of God, but we can certainly do a few. What you and I need to do is focus. Day in and day out. Eyes on the goal. We are desperate for simplicity in our frenzied lives. We need those hundred things to narrow down to one.
Oh how I needed to read this today. While I know what simple devotion to Christ is…sometimes amongst everything else that flies at me…I forget what it means. It’s amazing that a book written 3 years ago can come to me today and tell me exactly what God wants me to hear…no coincidence for that I am sure.
God has clearly told me to spend this summer focusing on getting healthy…body, soul and mind. I started July 5 exercising every morning despite the fear of becoming addicted as well as striving to eat 50% fruits and vegetables and 2 servings of protein and whole grain carbs per day…and I have not had one Diet Coke or caffeinated beverage! For me that is incredible and could only be explained as God helping me! It is very difficult but I really believe it’s what God wants me to do. Sometimes I am really tempted when the intense pain sets in during that late afternoon and early evening to exercise again but God always tells me to trust Him and not fall into the trap of looking to something else to ease my pain as I did for so long. He started with my body and now I feel like God is working on my soul and mind.
I’ve felt so clouded with what my purpose is lately. Pushing through pain and relying on the Lord day in and day out and I wonder….why? It’s not to achieve a certain size or even to feel good…tempting as those both may be. It’s to be obedient because God has a plan. Today He told me to focus and listen and just do it and not be distracted. I learned yesterday that what I thought was fruitless, aimless obedience in fact is fruit…even if I don’t understand why.
This morning a heart-stopping reality hit me…we only get one shot at this. This is it. It’s not a dress rehearsal…it’s not a string of never-ending tomorrows…it’s here and now. I have to listen every second to what I’m supposed to be doing…even if I don’t understand why…or I’m going to miss it! I cannot rely on artificial energy or wisdom…I need the real thing!