God only knows

I heard this song this morning and it really put into words how I feel.  I feel like I’m diving into the great unknown…but for the first time in my life, it doesn’t scare me!  I am completely at peace…that is certainly not from within myself!  Remember me…the control freak with OCD?  This first day of lent the Lord laid this verse on my heart as I begin a season of much needed and desired prayer.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  Philippians 4:6

For me not to be anxious with so much that could be racing through my mind, the Lord has just given me a peace that surpasses all understanding.  Could it be that what I’ve been learning and filing away has finally sunk in…not into my head but into my heart?  Being purely and simply devoted to the Lord is the answer.  Not making my own plans, trusting in Him with all of my heart, leaning not on my own understanding…those are all things I “knew” before but now that I’m actually doing it…abiding in Him…nothing needs to “make sense”.

I know there will be days of fear and doubt, but those things are not from the Lord.  If I am abiding in Him, I will be at peace.  If I am stressed or worried, then I am not walking with Him.  If I let others take my eyes off of Him and His Truth and drown out His voice, then I am not letting Him lead me.  Why has it taken me so stinkin’ long to GET THIS!  HELLO!  Once again…the more I thought I knew the more I realize I know nothing.  Seriously!

Never before have I been so willing to empty myself of me…all of me…to be filled with all of Him.  To not just trust Him with the “BIG stuff”…but with everything.  It’s amazing to me how God has orchestrated all of what He’s been teaching me, telling me and who has placed in my life to support me.  I am so thankful for all that He has revealed in His perfect timing.  Why am I surprised?  He is God afterall!

So what comes next?  God only knows!  I pray that it’s nothing from me, and everything from Him.  And I’ve never been happier to say that!

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