My name may as well be Martha…

My husband loves to call me “Martha Stewart” because he knows it drives me crazy.  I like things “just so”, “pretty”, and “done right”.  I suppose there is a correlation.  I, like Martha, have an “everyday” attitude.  The beds get made everyday.  I prepare, cook, serve, eat, clean  up 3 meals everyday.  And there is a huge list of tasks that must be done…you guessed it…everyday.  However, this Martha isn’t the Martha I’m speaking of.

Today in my bible study I read the story of when Jesus came to visit Martha and her sister Mary in Luke 10.  Martha was so busy with all of the preparations and making everything “just so” that when Mary simply sat at her Savior’s feet, Martha got a little upset.  She asked Jesus to tell Mary to help her and Jesus said “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only ONE THING is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  It was as if Jesus was saying “Jennifer, Jennifer”.  I, like Martha, am guilty of the exact same thing everyday. 

It is so very hard for me to “be still”, but that is exactly what God commands of us in Psalm 46:10. “Be still and know that I am God.”  Today I realized that the balance I so strive for “God First, Husband Second, Children Third” is still all too often in fact upside down.  I know better!  Why is this so hard for me?  But as I get older I realize just as the song says “I’m running out of dreams” because really there is nothing I would rather have…ONE THING…to be in constant contact with the love of Jesus.  Being completely devoted to Him in ALL that I do IS possible…and so is being still!  If I do this ONE THING everything else will fall into place. 

It’s easy for me to trust the Lord with the “big things”…like trusting Him to give me strength and endurance to deal with pain everyday and trusting Him with my family and our life circumstances.  In my own independent nature it’s the little things that I seem to feel like I need to do on my own.  Many times it’s as if the perfectionist in me tells me that I need to have everything done, everything and everyone settled and THEN I can go before the Lord with a “clean slate”…almost as if I need to present Him with a “brushed up” version of myself.  You know, sort of an unspoken “I’ve got it all together, Lord.”  How prideful is that?  And of course it is complete and utter nonsense since He’s with me all the time knowing full well I don’t have it all together all the time, but it’s so one-sided when I ignore Him to do my own thing when it comes to the small stuff.  He doesn’t want me to put Him last, He wants me to put Him first…just like Mary did. 

My time spent with the Lord today was an intense look in the mirror.  Just as much as I don’t want to be called Martha Stewart…I don’t want to be Martha in the book of Luke!  May my only everyday to-do…my ONE THING…be simply abiding in the loving presence of Christ….because it’s all that matters.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10

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